Goals That Matter
Every January I watch the wave roll in – big intentions, new notebooks, the burst of fresh energy that makes everything feel possible. Some of those goals stick and become habits that quietly reshape a year. Others fade by February. The difference rarely lies in willpower. It lives in how we choose, frame, and carry our goals – and in whether they truly belong to us.
If the same goals keep returning on repeat, it’s not a moral failure. It’s a signal. Maybe the timing is off. Maybe the “why” is borrowed. Maybe the goal is framed as something to escape instead of something to move toward. Let’s rework the way we set goals so they actually have a chance to live.
Enjoyment predicted people’s goal persistence…far more than how important they rated their goal to be.
Why Some Goals Stick – And Others Don’t
Goals that stick are usually three things: simple to understand, connected to something that matters, and visible in daily life. The opposite – vague, externally driven, and hidden in a document no one opens – tends to evaporate.
Try this quick test: say the goal out loud. Does your body lean in or pull back? “I should run three times a week” often lands as pressure. “I want to feel strong and clear‑headed in the mornings, so I’ll run for 15 minutes on Mondays and Thursdays” feels different. It creates direction and a small, doable path.
Clarity and an honest “why” are jet fuel for momentum.
Timing Matters – So Do Sub‑Goals
Long‑horizon goals can be inspiring – and paralyzing. If the first milestone is six months away, today has no anchor.
Break the arc into short, specific sub‑goals that begin now. Example: the long‑term aim is “Speak confidently on stage!”.
- week 1 might be “record a 90‑second voice note and listen back”
- week 2 “share it with a trusted peer”
- week 3 “join a short open mic online”
Progress you can see beats perfection you can’t reach. Milestones make motivation renewable.
Choose Goals That Belong To You
Some goals are loud because they belong to someone else – a trend, a comparison, a hidden “should.” They rarely survive a busy month. Before you commit, ask two questions: What outcome do I genuinely want? What will this change make possible? If your answers spark relief or curiosity, you’re onto something. If they spark dread, consider letting the goal go or reframing it. Surrender is not quitting – it’s intelligent editing. Take space for what truly fits.
Frame Goals Toward Something – Not Against It
Our brains follow the pictures we paint. “Stop scrolling before bed” is a rule to police. “Create a calming evening that helps me sleep” is an invitation.
Same situation, different energy. In teams it’s similar. “Stop missing status updates” keeps everyone defensive. “Share a clear Friday update so we can plan Monday with ease” focuses on the benefit.
Approach‑oriented language reduces friction and builds trust – with yourself and with others.
From Intention To Action
Writing a goal down increases your odds dramatically. But writing is only step one. Add two rituals: a check‑in and a witness.
The check‑in is a recurring reminder – weekly or monthly – that asks “What moved? What’s next?”. The witness is a person or a group who hears your commitment and asks about it later. Accountability is not punishment – it’s a gentle structure that keeps your future self in the room. Consistency grows from small, repeated actions, not one heroic sprint.
Make sure you enjoy the road along your way to achieve the goals and share them with an accountability partner.“Enjoyment predicted people’s goal persistence…far more than how important they rated their goal to be.” (Harvard Business Review)
Let Setbacks Teach You
You will miss a week. You will change your mind. That’s not the end – that’s information. Treat setbacks as data and adjust. Was the milestone too big? Is the time of day wrong for your energy? Do you need support? A healthy failure culture makes progress faster because it removes the shame tax. If this resonates, explore the idea further in my piece on The Dinosaur Principle – a simple way to name where you are, normalize the dip, and move forward with less drama.
A Tiny Ritual I Recommend
Set a quarterly calendar reminder titled “Reality Check.” Give yourself 20 minutes. Ask: What goal still feels alive? What needs a smaller next step? What deserves a graceful exit? Then update one thing – a date, a scope, a habit. This tiny ritual keeps goals alive and honest. It’s not about flagellating yourself for what didn’t happen – it’s about staying in relationship with what you say you want.
If You Lead A Team, Make Goals Feel Safe
In teams, goals influence culture. If people fear blame, they hide delays and pad reports. If they feel safe, they surface risks early and ask for help. Make it normal to share green, yellow, and red status without drama. Celebrate the behavior you want: clarity, early signals, small wins. Keep the message consistent – we set goals to learn together and to deliver better, not to punish. You’ll get more honest data and stronger outcomes.
When Your Work Doesn’t Fit One Box
Some goals resist linear timelines because your career isn’t linear. If you’re multi‑passionate or building a portfolio career, you might be moving several pieces at once. That’s not confusion – that’s capacity. The key is to design containers that can hold your range without burning you out. If this is you, my guide to shaping a Portfolio Career offers structure for planning across roles, clients, and seasons – with language that makes your work legible to others.
A Practical Checklist To Start Today
- Write one goal you truly want – no “shoulds.”
- Reframe it toward something (“create…”, “build…”, “practice…”).
- Define the next two tiny steps you can do this week.
- Add a recurring check‑in to your calendar.
- Choose a witness – tell a person you trust.
- Remove one friction – a cue, a template, a time block.
- Decide now how you’ll treat setbacks: as data, not drama.
And now?
Write (or save) your list of intentions at a place where you will be reminded of the status of your goal. A post-it in the agenda (of course glued a few weeks into the future) or just an Outlook reminder in the next quarter. Did you know that, according to a Harvard study, we are about 3 times more likely to achieve them, if we write them down?
Try to formulate your goals in a positive way, it will help you stick to them!
A Last Word – Your Goals Are Allowed To Change
You’re not a machine – you’re a human in motion. As your season changes, your goals can change with you. The point is not to win at discipline; it’s to build a work‑and‑life you can actually live inside. If you want a sparring partner, a bit of structure, or a clear next step, I’m here. Let’s talk and make space for what’s next.